An Open Letter to Sports Fans

Dear Twins and Vikings fans (especially the ones over 30):

When you come to my bar, pre and post game, please act your age. This is not a kindergarden playground. You may NOT climb on the pool tables. You may NOT stand on the bar stools. Please do NOT take your beer to your car. You can NOT take your cocktail to the game (this is NOT Wisconsin). Do NOT play "drums" on my servers asses (as lovely as said asses are, they are not yours for the drumming). Do NOT get pissy with my staff if you don't have valid ID. I don't care if you're 22, 28, 36, or 106: BRING YOUR FUCKING ID TO THE BAR. Do NOT grab my arm and demand a drink. I am the manager, and would be more than happy to find your server. Do NOT whine about our "game day" menu. If we are going to serve 200 - 500 people food within a 2 hour time frame, we NEED a limited menu. And if I hear you whine one more time about a $4 MGD, go back to your $250,000 house in the suburbs and watch the fucking game on your $1,500 plasma tv.

Oh, and wash that godawful stupid team color makeup off your face while you're at it.

Whew.

Love,
Someone who wants you to have a nice time at the bar.

State Fair Food Reviews!

Monday, my first day off in AGES and it's DATE DAY! Mr. Rocket and I got to attend the Minnesota State Fair! Basically, it just boils down to lots of eating, lots of walking, tons of opportunities to stare at strange people, and a chance to act like sixteen year olds (little PDA here and there, jumping up and down and squealing, pointing at things that are funny, etc.).

Rating of things we ate:
* = blech, ** = sorta blech, *** = meh, but I'd try it again, **** = pretty darn good, ***** = hold the phone Ole, Lena's got to get some more!

Fresh Strawberries and Cream ***** : This almost caused a fight at the fair. Mr. Rocket and I had made an eating plan, where we would share everything, therefore making for more tummy room for more food. I don't know where they found perfect strawberries during the off season, but there they were, all red and ripe and topped with an amazing dollop of fresh whipped cream. We're not talking Redi-Wip here, we're talking REAL COW type cream. Amazing. The booth was by the Pet Building in Agriculture Land.

Fried Cheese on a Stick ***: Somehow, while not that amazing, it's become a State Fair staple for me. A hunk of Swiss cheese, battered and deep fried, on a stick. The one I got was a little cold in the middle. Mr. Rocket was not impressed, and disappointed in me for not putting mustard on it. Located by Grandstand.

Brat w/ Saurkraut and Mustard ****: Felt like I was back in Wisconsin. Almost. Brats just taste better in 'Sconnie. Located in Heritage Square.

Coffee Roasted Sugar Almonds and Garlic Onion Roasted Soy Nuts ***** and ***: First off, the almonds were served WARM! They were sugary with just a hint of coffee flavor. Perfection in a little paper tube. When I go back (Friday!!!) I have to get a bigger bag, as when I shared them post-fair, they disappeared. Mr. Rocket hates coffee, so he did not partake. The GORSN were good, just too heavy on the seasoning. Can't remember location of booth, but it was called "German Roasted Nuts". Ouch.

Hot Dish on a Stick *****: Okay, I know it sounds weird. It looked weird. While flavor-wise, it was rather bland. OF COURSE IT WAS BLAND, IT'S HOTDISH. ON A STICK. UFF DA!!! What it boiled down to was a meatball, a tater tot, a meatball, a tater tot, etc lined up on a stick, battered, deep fried, and served with a cream of mushroom soup type dipping sauce. I was in Minnesota Heaven. Ole and Lena's booth by the Horse Pavillion.

Chocolate Dipped Nut Roll *****: Pearson's doesn't have shit on this booth. Gooey nougaty goodness and newly dipped in chocolate. Located by the Visitor's Buerau.

Of course, no State Fair trip is complete without visiting the All You Can Drink Milk Booth, a Pronto Pup (**), and copious amounts of fresh Root Beer and several N/A beers for me (wagon time).

Like I mentioned before, I shall be returning to the fair on Friday, to sample more delights on a stick. More reviews to follow...

Vikings Drama

Well, Vikings Season has started almost. We're still in pre-season until September 17th. Why oh why did I pick a bar 2 blocks away from the MetroDome????? Had my first taste of VS last night. Actually, it's almost sad that I don't have any funny stories to relate. My biggest concern right now tho are The Twins. If they go to the playoffs, I will lose my marbles. At least there are only about 8 Vikings home games, and if they DO (ha) get to the StupidBowl, it's only one game. No monster playoff type bullshit. Unlike 20 more games for the Twinks. ARGUH.

More Work Madness

Group of Very Rowdy Girls enter bar when I'm in the back office working desperately on next week's schedule. Get angry page from bartender asking me to come out. He yells something about IDs. I card VRGs and bartender says "NO, the girl in the BLUE has an EXPIRED one!" So I ask to see Blue Girl's ID again. Seems it has magically disappeared. Extreme yelling at me follows. I did not give back said ID. I stole said ID. I am an ID thief. I ask BG if she dropped it. No, I am still keeper of the ID. More yelling at me. Luckily, after an entire weekend of Twins fans drunken bullshit, I am immune. I just stare at her and let her scream. Then I calmly say "Okay then. It's time to go. NOW PLEASE." More swearing, then a very dramatic 15 minutes of stomping out. Whatever. I swear, nothing fazes me anymore. Which helps my psyche more than freaking out over what is really nothing in my universe.

The above picture comes from www.postsecret.com
While most of the postcards are pretty bleak, this one makes me happy to think that I can accomplish anything at anytime in my life. It's a very thoughtful website.

Meh

I just had the most bi-polar vacation ever. The days either sucked or rocked. There was no neutrality (which is what I was craving). Not going to get involved in the sordid details, but it was weird.

Once again, I'm totally tardy on a swap (almost a week), and I somehow ruined my classic candy recipe. Probably because I burnt the shit out of my finger on 300 degree boiling sugar/corn syrup mix. It wasn't a complete disaster. The rest of the swap items turned out okay, but won't get in the mail until Monday. I'm so cranky at myself. And while the candy turned out neutral tasting (not great, not sucky), it didn't turn out blue (which is what I wanted). Somehow it's GREEN. WTF? Candy is now being donated to the Gay Bake Sale, which is tonight at Patrick's Caberet. Which I cannot attend, because, as usual, I HAVE TO WORK.

I've been reading my friend Steph's blog and I'm depressed because her's is so cute and well done and full of amazing stories about her little girl. It totally makes me miss her.

Oh my god, I have to get off this bitch parade right now.

The photo is our view from our cabin. How cool is that?