I Worry About The Future

And the stupid things people say.

Conversations from the past few days...

1. At the state fair, a white kid in hip hop clothes, sitting on a bus bench yelling "Yo, cracker parking thass way!" WTF?

2. I'm at the liquor store buying a 12 pack of O'Doul's. Drunk guy with 4 teeth sidles up next to me and plops down a pint of Hot 100 Peppermint Schnapps (oh, BARF).
DG: Whass that? Beer?
Me: Um, kind of. It's N/A beer.
DG: Thass shit. Tha taste nasty. Why you drink that?
Me: I don't drink alchohol right now.
DG: (processing this information a little too long while staring at me) You wanna sign my AA card?

3. Dumb girl (22? wearing Twins jersey) outside my bar is drinking a can of Mich Gold Light and yapping on her cell. We don't sell cans and it is illegal to drink on the sidewalk like a common bum.
Me: Miss, I'm sorry, but if you want to drink that, you have to get away from my bar. Immediately. Thank you.
3 minutes later, I poke my head back outside and she's still there, just leaning against the wall on the otherside of the windows. Still on property, technically.
Me: Miss, you have to get away from the bar, or I'm taking your beer.
DG: Well, exactly HOW FAR AWAY DO YOU WANT ME? (god, I hate snotty suburbanites)
Me: (thinking HELL is too close to my bar) Just start walking or I'm taking it. (I point in the direction of the gas station - which is a know cop hang out, 15 evil points for me). You can get arrested for walking around with an open can of beer, you know.
DG: Bitch.
At least she left...

Customer At Bar: What's this menu?
Me: Game day menu.
CAB: So, this is what you are serving?
Me: Yes, sir.
CAB: I want nachos.
Me: I'm sorry, but they aren't available until after 11 p.m.
CAB: What about the steak sandwich?
Me: No. Just what's on that menu.
CAB: (being petulant 3 year old) But I want NNNAAAAACCCCHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOS.
Me: We'll have the full menu tomorrow from 11 am to 3 pm, if you want to return.
CAB: Bah.




HELP!