No New Stories
But I thought it would be fun to pull an old one out of my hat.
Bartending at my last place of employment. Very quiet night. A guy comes up to the bar...
CAB: Hey, pretty lady, can I get a Bud?
Me: Sure.
CAB proceeds to shoot a game of pool with another customer.
CAB: Hey, pretty lady, can I get another?
Me: Okay.
CAB: (while I am getting bottle)Don't I know you?
Me: No, I'm pretty sure you don't.
CAB: Aw, come on, pretty girl like you? I know all the pretties.
Me: Nope. Never saw you before.
CAB: Give you a hundred for a roll across the street.
Me: (beer still in hand) Um. What?
CAB: (voice lowered) You heard me, bill for a roll. (winks)
Me: (beer goes back in beer cooler) Get. Out. Of. My. Bar. Now.
CAB: Aw, come on.
Me: I'm calling 911 unless you get out.
CAB: You wouldn't do that to me.
Me: Hello, 911, please come by Bar Z and collect a customer that refuses to leave.
Thank you.
CAB: You're playin me.
Squad shows up. CAB runs. Gets caught by lady cop. Turns out he had a warrent out for assault. Neat!
I guess it really isn't funny, but I crack up at the thought that he said he'd give me a hundred for a roll. I should have given him a roll of TP.
Bartending at my last place of employment. Very quiet night. A guy comes up to the bar...
CAB: Hey, pretty lady, can I get a Bud?
Me: Sure.
CAB proceeds to shoot a game of pool with another customer.
CAB: Hey, pretty lady, can I get another?
Me: Okay.
CAB: (while I am getting bottle)Don't I know you?
Me: No, I'm pretty sure you don't.
CAB: Aw, come on, pretty girl like you? I know all the pretties.
Me: Nope. Never saw you before.
CAB: Give you a hundred for a roll across the street.
Me: (beer still in hand) Um. What?
CAB: (voice lowered) You heard me, bill for a roll. (winks)
Me: (beer goes back in beer cooler) Get. Out. Of. My. Bar. Now.
CAB: Aw, come on.
Me: I'm calling 911 unless you get out.
CAB: You wouldn't do that to me.
Me: Hello, 911, please come by Bar Z and collect a customer that refuses to leave.
Thank you.
CAB: You're playin me.
Squad shows up. CAB runs. Gets caught by lady cop. Turns out he had a warrent out for assault. Neat!
I guess it really isn't funny, but I crack up at the thought that he said he'd give me a hundred for a roll. I should have given him a roll of TP.
posted by jackierocket2 at 1:28 PM
2 Comments:
Am I a dipshit - what's a roll? Sex?
Either way, what a horrible story. I don't know if I would have acted so quickly. Well done, you're one tough cookie.
A roll as in sex. Like "a roll in the hay". There was a cheap motel across the street where the ho's used to, um, work I guess. It took me about 5 seconds to figure it out tho. Blank stare and all.
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